Trust
by SilverWolf7
Summary: Jarlaxle's thoughts on Artemis, written in a journal entry type style.  A companion piece to Finding Peace.  My first attempt at this style of writing.


Disclaimer - I don't own Artemis Entreri or Jarlaxle. They belong to R. A. Salvatore. None of them are hurt in this fic, so I have no bad feelings about borrowing them for two seconds, before putting them back nicely where they left off. Or at least somewhere along the roads of Toril.

Trust

Trust. Sometimes I wonder how it is that surfacers can have so much of it for one another, or at least for their own kind.

For me it is a strange thought. I am drow. I was born one, I was raised as one, and so I do not expect anybody to truly trust me. I only know that of all people, Artemis Entreri is the first person I have ever turned my back on and was able to sleep knowing, unless I do something incredibly stupid, he will not stab me when given the chance.

Is this trust? Like I told Artemis not too long ago, I don't know. I don't know the true concept of trust, nor if I am even capable of it. A few short weeks ago, I would have thought the same for my human companion but he is changing, slowly I must admit, into a better person. Not necessarily into a good person, but better.

Perhaps my influences on him are also changing me. This thought, though not truly unexpected as everybody changes during their lives, scares me more than the dagger I keep on expecting. I am not used to being afraid. It seems against my nature, but even I have hidden fears. Those I will not share with anyone, not even the man sleeping beside me. I barely acknowledge them myself.

What he dreams of I don't know, but at least he seems relaxed tonight. That is a first since I have started exploring this fascinating surface world with him.

He doesn't see it. Perhaps it is because I am used to the warm, never-changing temperatures and rock of the Underdark, which I find fascinating in its unique - yet common for me - way.

I wonder how Artemis Entreri cannot look at the sky above him and marvel at the stars, the moon...even the blinding sun! How can he not see the marvellous sight of gently lapping waves sparkling all shades of blue when it can captivate other men his age? How can he not see the magnificence of the trees? Of animals? Of the buildings of all shapes and sizes that are built out of materials I have rarely seen in my lifetime?

Everywhere I go on the surface, I find that everything, or almost everything, is beautiful, but he doesn't 'see' it.

Which brings me around to trust again. Artemis is human, yet unlike all the others of his race, he is like me, like most drow. He has lost his trust and I wonder what happened for him to lose something that seems so important to humans? In drow, we simply are taught not to, but that is not the way of surfacers.

What happened to him to change what seems to be human nature? Whatever it is must have happened when he was a child, that I know. I also believe that whatever caused this lack was done by a priest. Whether this is true or false, I know not. All I know is I dare not ask him.

He stirs now, knowing it is near time for my watch to finish and his to start. When he does, I will once again turn my back to him and sleep.

Perhaps that little act in itself is this famed trust for which I muse over now. If it is, then I am no closer to knowing what trust is than I was before.

I will let things run their path. I think soon all my questions will be answered. Perhaps then I will not only know, but understand.

A/N - Hmmm, this is one of those fics that formed in my mind fully as I woke up one morning. I just had to write it down, as I thought it would be a good story. It is a companion piece to Finding Peace, which is done in Artemis' POV.

This is the first time I have tried this style of writing so if it is a little rough, it is because I am trying something new. Tell me how I can fix it if it is that bad, lol.

I see this as a short journal entry, my attempt at trying to break into Jarlaxle's mind. I hope you all like as much as Finding Peace. Please r/r.


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